Meeting and Greeting

Greetings in a social context will depend upon the ethnicity of the person you are meeting. In general, most Malays are aware of Western ways so the handshake is normal. There may be slight differences though and a few things to bear in mind include:

Malay women may not shake hands with men. Women can of course shake hands with women. Men may also not shake hands with women and may bow instead while placing their hand on their heart.

The Chinese handshake is light and may be rather prolonged. Men and women may shake hands, although the woman must extend her hand first. Many older Chinese lower their eyes during the greeting as a sign of respect.

Indians shake hands with members of the same sex. When being introduced to someone of the opposite sex, nodding the head and smiling is usually sufficient.

Among all cultures, there is a general tendency to introduce:

• the most important person to the lower ranking person.
• the older person to the younger person.
• women to men.

 

Names

The way names are used also varies between ethnicities:

Chinese
The Chinese traditionally have 3 names. The surname (family name) is first and is followed by two personal names.• Many Chinese adopt more Western names and may ask you to use that instead.

Malays
Many Malays do not have surnames. Instead, men add their father's name to their own name with the term "bin" (meaning ‘son of’). So Rosli bin Suleiman, would be Rosli the son of Suleiman.

Women use the term "binti", so Aysha bint Suleiman is Aysha the daughter of Suleiman.

Indian
Many Indians do not use surnames. Instead, they place the initial of their father's name in front of their own name. The man's formal name is their name "s/o" (son of) and the father's name.

Women use "d/o" to refer to themselves as the daughter of their father.

 

Gift Giving Etiquette

Here are some general gift giving etiquette guidelines:

Gift giving to Malays:

If invited to someone's home for dinner, bring the hostess pastries or good quality chocolates.

• Never give alcohol.
• Do not give toy dogs or pigs to children.
• Do not give anything made of pigskin.
• Avoid white wrapping paper as it symbolizes death and mourning.
• Avoid yellow wrapping paper, as it is the color of royalty.
• If you give food, it must be “halal” (meaning permissible for Muslims).
• Offer gifts with the right hand only or both hands if the item is large.
• Gifts are generally not opened when received.

 

Gift giving to Chinese:

If invited to someone's home, bring a small gift of fruit, sweets, or cakes, saying that it is for the children.

A gift is traditionally refused before it is accepted to demonstrate that the recipient is not greedy

• Do not give scissors, knives or other cutting utensils as they indicate a desire to sever the relationship.
• Flowers do not make good gifts as they are given to the sick and are used at funerals.
• Do not wrap gifts in mourning colours - white, blue, or black.
• Wrap the gifts in happy colours - red, pink, or yellow.
• Elaborate gift - wrapping is imperative.
• Never wrap a gift for a baby or decorate the gift in any way with a stork, as birds are the harbinger of death.
• It is best to give gifts in even numbers since odd numbers are unlucky.
• Gifts are generally not opened when received.

 

Gift giving to Indians:

• Money should be given in odd numbers.
• Offer gifts with the right hand only or both hands if the item is large.
• Do not wrap gifts in white or black.
• Wrap gifts in red, yellow or green paper or other bright colors as these bring good fortune
• Do not give leather products to a Hindu.
• Do not give alcohol unless you are certain the recipient drinks.
• Gifts are generally not opened when received.